there will be a point in time.

when you found that you're ready to let go of everything.

every single thing.

me.

the relationship.

the memories.

when it doesnt matter whether you still have these things.

or you even want to have these things.

when you know for sure it's all these things that you dont want.

that you cant be bothered about.

that's the day i lose you.

and there's nothing i can do to keep you.

do i really want to love you so much?

knowing that there's nothing for u to lose in the end?

or am i going to be a subject for taunt?

for all the criticisms?

when i'm referred to in past tense.

when all bad opinions about me suffice.

when talks of "dont see her so much la.. dont give her false hope" surround you

what will i be doing?

off to lick my wounds

There is something special about impermanence. It puts value into every moment and makes these moments very precious, because they become unique and irreplaceable. And because of this, we learn to enjoy every moment more thoroughly and learn not to take things for granted. However, just because certain moments/things have gone and will not happen again, it does not mean that they are erased. They have happened and will always have happened. And I think that this is the true value of our treasured moments, which we will not be able to appreciate without impermanence. The most precious moments of my life only lasted 2 seconds, but they will sustain me for the rest of my life, if you get what I mean.

what if you wake up one day and decide that you dont want to be in a relationship

i'm a very suppressed person.

even when i liked you i cant like you properly.

i was bruised i was betrayed i was humiliated.

i couldnt trust anyone, not even myself.

there's something about you, definitely.

but time wasnt right, and i was too busy building defences around myself.

i know i like you, i always do.

i'm so dark and twisty i'm a new character myself.

and you..... you've never left.

that in itself is worth more love than anything can surmount.

i thought i was the girl you love.

that you'll do anything to make me yours.

you dont want so many stuff and expect me to understand.

truth is there's no one to understand me.

i wanna be dominique francon to you

我很容易心软。

Hi, I'm Veran's Christine.

the only thing i did right

was to reject u 2 years ago

veranish says (2:53 AM):

ps: we are in existence

you dont have to say something like that to make me go away.

Therapy #1

i am having ramen craze.

i want to slurp my noodles loudly.

I had a wonderful night.

I am still in love with you.

I love my extraordinary cactus.

People do matter. I matter. We matter.

We mattered.

You still matter.

I like you so much better when you're naked.

u wanna know

i'll let u know

it sux

it sux so much i dunno my days and my nights

like why do u care, seriously?

i'm just a girl

there're so many girls out there

if u think u are too good for me then go

i am going to mean to toughen up

you're just kissing a fool

faster, be still, or rewind?

I know I'm in love. When I want to spend time with the person, not because i have spare time or I am bored or I happen to pass by. But I genuinely want his company, and it doesnt matter if it means sacrificing a little on other aspects of my life. Having him around is simply priceless.

i'm not letting go of those hands

help

my beloved flower. I miss you so much.

i've not said enough of sorries. i've not said enough of i love yous.

i dont want to be a farmer anymore

Day 2

Enough of crying, seriously. To sort things out I need a clear head. And crying not just worsen my appearance more than a packet of cigs, I'm actually feeling lethargic.

I dont need any more assurance. For the life of me, I am NOT gonna cry anymore.

Knots in stomach, checked.

Wrenching in the heart, checked.

Only this time, I gave away something too. And it hurt. Like real pain, not metally/phsychologically/emotionally pain. So that's how it feels like.

Time for a medical checkup.

I dont want to stop fighting. I still have this last crate of weapons that i can still use to fight on. It's hidden in the ground. I'm still able to use my bare hands and dig them out and just fight at anything that's coming in between me. I still have the strength I still have the weapons. So dont make me defeated. So please dont tell me I've lost the war. Because I can still continue fighting.

Day 1

What kinda blog starts with with such a title?

Well, mine apparently.

Picking up where I last stopped 1 year ago.

Just when things are starting to change, just when things began to look rosy.

Everything has to end.

Can someone give me some kind of explanation? If not, I've got several on my own.

Slowly but surely. That's how he would want me to heal. But then again this is not some kind of clear cut ending. Because, really, who would have wanted to start the new year on such a bad note?

So many things I have not done yet.